When a friend dies

Taken from SpunOut.ie – Health & Life – When a friend dies

when a friend dies



Death is inevitable, unfortunately. It is one of the definite things in life. Nobody likes to hear this but it’s true.

Death hits all age groups:  it is easier to understand and accept death when an elderly person dies. We feel that they have lived their lives and their time has come. 

The death of a person of any age group is distressing. The death of a young person is terrible for everyone. 

When death takes one of our friends from us, it is very hard to comprehend and believe it. Long after the death we still expect to meet them on the street or anywhere. “WHY?” is the big question that we all want answered. 

We’re used to having our friends around, chatting, joking, messing…. but when one is missing there is a huge difference. Suddenly, one day they disappear from our lives and nothing can justify it. 

Feelings of grief, despair, depression, heart-break, anger and fear set in. “What will we do without him/her/them?” 

There appears to be only one healer for this problem and this is TIME. Time lets us get on with our lives but we still remember the highs, lows, good points, bad points and we’ll always have fond memories of our friends. We may never truly get over the death of a friend but time eases the pain. 

The Grieving Process

  • If a friend of yours dies, don’t be afraid to show your emotions.
  • If you feel like crying, cry.
  • Everyone understands that you must be feeling terrible and that you need to grieve. You may be told that “It’ll be alright” and “We just have to move on”.
  • These may upset you more but it is what your friend would’ve wanted. Your tears and thoughts are a sign of love for your friend and they would want you to move on.
  • Don’t feel bad to start laughing again after a friend has died. It is not wrong and they would want you to be happy. Talk to people about how you are feeling and if someone wants to talk to you about how they are feeling, let them.
  • Respect their feelings and support them. Some people will get over the death of a friend or loved one quicker than others as we all grieve differently.
  • Another way to help with the grieving process is to write a letter to your deceased friend. Let out all your emotions and tell them whatever you want. It is personal and just between the two of you. Keep this letter for yourself. You can read it whenever, and as many times, as you want or you may never look at it again. Overall give yourself time to get over the death of a friend or a loved one.

Their Spirit always lives on through memory and it’ll always be with you in your heart 

The Health Service Executive has set up a 24-hour telephone information service for members of the community affected by the recent Donegal tragedy at: 087 2798412.



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