A death affects everyone. One of our readers kindly shares below their experience of a death, and how they coped with it.
I was 14 years old when a boy in my class died.
I had fallen out with him a few months beforehand. We’d never made up.
I remember everything about that day.
I remember coming to school. I remember that at 8.55am, things seemed very strange, quiet. I remember the glances from mutual friends, and I knew something was wrong. And I remember the boy who walked up to me and told me.
It didn’t seem real. It still doesn’t seem real. I felt lost. Together in class, we were all in shock. A boy in my class, one I had given very little time too, sat beside me on my desk and said “only the good die young”. I don’t know if that is true, or why people with the rest of their lives shining gloriously ahead are taken away. What I do know is how much it meant for someone to just sit beside me, and be there for me. I never said thank you to him.
My friend did not want to talk about it. That was her way of coping, but I found it hard. Looking back now, I wish I had of talked more. Just to try make sense of it by saying out loud. Because we had fallen out, I was wracked with guilt too, about not treating him fairly. It was such a stupid thing to fall out over, and was more about other people than us. I should have given him the benefit of the doubt, and gotten over it. I was an insecure teenager and I dealt with things the wrong way. Looking back, maybe he was the same.
What I keep with me now is that any day could by my last, or your last. That isn’t solemn, it just means that I live my life to the full a day at a time. I treat people as much as I can with respect and kindness. I don’t know what is going on in their world, and they don’t know what is going on in mine. So a little kindness and happiness can help us all through the day. I don’t take life for granted. People sometimes give out about birthdays and growing old- I celebrate, it is much better than the alternative.
And I learned that being there for someone can mean just sitting beside them when they are alone. And that can make the difference.
If you or a friend needs some support please check out our Mental Health Directory for a list of support services